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It’s a fact. This painting speaks of loss. However, though the journey of its conception is dark and morbid, it carries a positive message.
I have always felt that putting something down on paper or canvas was cathartic and helpful in addressing personal issues. Primary issue was the departure of my children after my divorce. Suddenly, I found that people who were part of my identity were gone. Even though they were only a phone call away, things were different. In order to deal with this loss, a part of me became blocked off. I found myself stumbling and trying to reinvent myself. These feelings stayed with me.
The second issue was the increasing desire to see my brother. We have always been very close, and although we spoke often, that became increasingly insufficient.
While these ideas were percolating, a tragedy struck. Someone important and close to me lost a child. His tremendous pain was indescribable, and his unfortunately horrible experience resurfaced many of my own disappointments.
I knew what to paint, and yet wasn’t sure how to approach it. The subject matter was a large and complex one. Luckily, the answer to this dilemma presented itself through two sources. The first was Joseph Campbell’s book Myths of Light: Eastern Metaphors of the Eternal and the second was a lecture by the wonderful Professor Preston Metcalf.
Starting with the setting, the background needed to be unrecognizable, a surreal nightmare located on the shores of our subconscious. I wanted to depict a place that was nowhere. In this bizarre world we find two children who are at a crossroad in their journey. The smaller child is drawn to the excitement of the carnival. The older child however, is lovingly extending his hand, guiding him, saying: Trust me and follow, I know the right way!
The two children represent us. You, dear viewer and anyone in your life that matters; a spouse, a parent, a sibling, a friend. The crossroad symbolizes the moment of passing and the hopeful realization we will be reunited with our loved ones for that final voyage into eternity.
The older child has a monster on a leash. The monster is our fear, the things we dread in life, the things that control us. This child is in control of his fears, and therefore is able to see the right path laid before him.
The voyage into eternity is represented by the open door in the moon. The background seen through that door is richer than the flat night sky in the painting. This rich, distant starry sky is another dimension. Something extending past what we know, see, and believe. This is where faith begins its relevance. Humanity’s tendency to see things as right and wrong is represented in the painting by two figures, the Universal Guide (yogi) and Mr. Punch (jack-in-the-box). The former is the universe’s symbolic herald of helping us understand and cope with the machinations of our world. The latter is the symbol of corruption and avoidance.
As the Universal Guide extends his hand to our two protagonists, Mr. Punch is tempting another lost child into taking an easier, more fun path towards the Circus. We can see skulls in the right bottom corner. They belong to the children who never made a choice and eventually they just fade away.
I intentionally tried to leave the painting stylistically loose, thus leaving enough room for people to draw their own conclusions. Some viewers might find it easier to understand this painting in the more traditional concept of Heaven and Hell.
Overlooking this situation we see an observer. This childlike image gleefully peering down is quite different in stylistic rendering. He represents us, our world. The one we occupy, the world of Francis Bacon, Albert Einstein, James Joyce and the Louvre. Where we can admire architecture, sculptures, and paintings in museums. And while we enjoy and appreciate them, none of us believe that these paintings are a living and breathing reality. Yet, I wonder, could they be? Are we witnessing another world unaware of our own? Much as an ant is not aware of the Milky Way, the paintings might not be aware of our presence.
I realize this painting does not produce many answers and only poses more questions. Hopefully, it offers a small comfort, however fleeting. Because we all want to spend eternity with those most important to us. Rarely are we ever ready to say goodbye.
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